blackadder-nth.livejournal.com"I cannot wait to return to my own bed," Edmund said, more to himself than to Baldrick as he trudged through the snow back to All and Sundries. Spending two nights sleeping on the school's gymnasium floor surrounded by the cheerfully helpful had done nothing to help his mood, nor did Baldrick's cheery demeanor. What did the byblow of a priapic warthog and a very confused toad have to be happy about?
He failed to notice the turnip that Baldrick was lovingly cradling in the folds of his clothes. Nor had he heard about the hairy fairy that had bestowed said turnip upon the still blissfully happy creature.
He did not fail to notice that the door to All and Sundries had been knocked askew on its hinges.
Nor did he fail to notice the two sleeping men inside his shop.
At least, that's what they appeared to be doing, although the one man was frozen in a bizarre pose in which he appeared to be a chicken about to proclaim that he had just laid the world's largest egg and gods did his cloaca hurt for having done so.
Although why he was wearing clogs on both hands and feet and a pair of nylons over his face was entirely beyond Edmund's ability to comprehend.
The other man seemed to have woven a sort of spider web cum hammock out of the rest of A&S's nylon stock and was sleeping quite blissfully.
Edmund retrieved the truncheon he kept behind the counter and cleared his throat.
"Would you two like to explain to me why I should not add brains and sweetbreads to the meat selection today?"
[ooc: I have permission to find these two here after their foray to All and Sundries for clogs and nylons. No poltergeists here, although Edmund might be able to acquire one - for a hefty price. And if it's fake, he'll just tell them it went on holiday because they were dull. If you wish to come in to buy some supplies, go ahead, mind the mess, the clogs, and the two interlopers. ETA: And now, 12 hours later, I realize how the description of the hammock might read to the filthy minded. I must say for the record that no spider secretions were used in the creation of that adjectival phrase.]